Human interactions is, perhaps, the part I find the most interesting, challenging, and exciting about the technology industry. Unless you are working alone, more than 70% of your day is likely spent interacting with other humans. Even when you are working on your daily tasks (operations, coding, etc) you are interacting with other humans. People that may have touched the same part of the architecture that you are touching, people that would be affected by your changes, etc.

I have spent a lot of time working on improving the way I communitcate with other people and, while I think I’m far from being an great communicator, I am certain that I have learned a whole lot about what goes into a great message.

I come from high-context cultures, I am certainly not a literal person and I spend quite some time reading between the lines. Unknowingly, I had always considered reading the air to be critical for human interactions and I had always seen the excesive context provided by low-context cultures in their communications to be annoying and, sometimes, offensive. This turned out to be extremely frustrating for me as I started making my way through this industry and, admitedly, it still is sometimes.

One mistake I did at the beginning was focusing too much on learning how to express my thoughts, how to write a proper email, how to write a proper code-review comment, etc, which is an important skill to have but not as important as learning how to listen, how to read, and how to understand other people’s thoughts. I’m sure there are plenty of chinese proverbs and quotes from known phiosophers on how listening is more important than speaking but I will spare you the cheeseness of using one and assume that you know where I am going with this.

Learning how to interpret what is being shared with us is important not only because it contains the message that is being communicated but also because it can trigger emotions in us, which will affect our replies if there are any. Pay attention to what’s being shared and how it’s being shared. Put the message in context with the communicator’s culture, and you will be able to learn more about the message and the messenger. This exercise will help you stay emotionally disconnected from the message, which, for someone like myself, is extremely important.

One of the main goals behind learning about other cultures and how to interact with them is to be inclusive. The more inclusive you are the more included you will feel. I spend a lot of time getting to know the people I work with. I owe it to the members of my team to have the least impact possible on their cultures and workflows. I owe it to them to try my best to accomodate their way of doing things as much as possible. It takes quite some time, and it can be tiring, but it is certainly worth it and rewarding.

It’s also worth noting that this is not a game. This is not about cracking someone’s brain, or pretending to be a psychologist. This is not a negotiation strategy, and it is also not meant to be your “people labeling” criteria. If that’s what is coming through, then one of us failed in this interaction.

Ultimatedly, it’s not skills like reading the air that make an interaction better but the awareness of the cultures of the people you are interacting with. Being aware of the different cultures there are, the way they do things, their expectations, as well as the way they communicate, will get you a long way through this industry.

Learn how to interact with humans and you will make your way through this industry smoother.

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, I would recommend reading The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business by Erin Meyer